Tweens and teens increasing encounter social situations that they must have skills to navigate independently. In this article, you’ll read through scenarios that teens might experience as they spend time with friends. For each scenario, prompts are provided for consideration and discussion. These prompts can be used as talking points with the teens at your home or school. You’ll also have the opportunity to download a free Classroom Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts Resource for both teachers and students.
As tweens and teens spend a lot more time with their friends, they may encounter new situations that they need to navigate with skill and polite manners. Etiquette and manners are important—because people who know how to handle themselves in social situations come out on top, get what they want, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest.
Preparing to manage experiences before they occur will allow kids to better manage them in real time.
Hypothetical scenarios can be a great tool for learning on this topic. They present real-life examples that students may not anticipate. They allow students to remove heightened emotions that they may experience in social settings so that they can think clearly on the issues presented. They also allow students to work together, collaboratively, to tackle these challenges with peers.
In group discussions, use these eleven relatable manners challenges to get teens talking about how they can politely deal with problems, before they occur, at home or school.
You’re eating dinner at a friend’s house. You take a mouthful of soup and discover it’s burning hot. Other than spitting it out, burning your tongue, and suing your hostess for $4 million, how could you deal (politely) with this situation?
Your best friend spends half the time you’re together texting other friends. You think of sending your friend a text saying, “PUT DOWN YOUR STUPID PHONE AND BE WITH ME!” Maybe there’s a better solution. What is it?
You brought a great present for your friend to his Bar Mitzvah party. Three months later you’ve heard nothing from him, and you’re wondering why. You could send a “Thanks for nothing” note, or… What’s a better way to handle this?
Your friends are great one-on-one. But when they get together, they’re like boorish marauders. It really bothers you when they make fun of people with disabilities. How can you address this without being drawn and quartered yourself?
One of your friends always chews with his mouth open. It’s gross—all those saliva-slimed, maggoty, masticated morsels of chopper-chomped chow. (Told you it was gross.) How could you address this delicate subject with your friend?
A friend posted a photo on social media of you drooling in your sleep. You’re angry and humiliated. Think of a rude way to respond and then a polite way. Which is better and why?
Your friend is chronically late and always shrugs it off with lame excuses. You could give him some of his own medicine by standing him up, but that just brings more rudeness into the world. What’s a better way to resolve this?
Your friend always invites herself over to your house and then never leaves. Short of screaming, “INCOMING MISSILE!” and locking the doors after she dives out the window, what would be a polite way to deal with this?
A friend floods you with hundreds of unwanted texts a day. Think of a rude way to respond and a polite way. Which do you think would work better and why?
You’re at a restaurant with friends. You all chip in, but as you leave, you notice the kid who paid the bill didn’t leave a tip. How can you handle this so the server isn’t stiffed and your friend isn’t miffed?
Your friend bailed on going to the movies with you by saying she was sick. Later you learn she went out with someone else. Instead of getting even by giving her measles, how could you handle this politely?
Manners matter. Good etiquette helps us all get what we want, feel good about ourselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Giving tweens and teens resources—like the 11 scenarios and the Do’s and Don’ts of Classroom Etiquette Resource for students included in this article—gives them the opportunity to prepare for sticky social situations both out in the world and at school. For more relevant etiquette challenges, check out How Rude! The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D.