How to Set Positive Summer Screen-Time Rules for Kids (and their Families)

Screens are a part of life, and kids are increasingly dependent upon but independently using technology. When school is out, families can avoid excessive screen time by setting practical and positive summer screen-time rules for kids and parents alike. This article contains suggestions and resources to limit summer screen time for children and families.

Screen Routines

Confession: I’m writing this with three screens in front of me. The laptop I’m typing on, the phone I’m using for an interview, and the iPad playing an episode of The Office like white noise. (The fans blowing in the room aren’t blocking out household sounds, so the folks at Dunder Mifflin are helping do the job.) I suspect this will be a familiar scenario for many of you who are working from home. Screens are our routine.

And now our children have screen routines of their own.

Increasingly, children have relied on screens for learning and for staying in touch with family and friends. Kids have also turned to screens for much of their entertainment, which has increased the number of hours spent gaming and going online. When school is out, the draw of the screen can be even greater for kids. It can be a challenge for families to figure out summer screen rules for kids who’ve become more dependent on technology while also becoming more independent in their use of it.

How do you tell kids to cut down on their technology use? How can you do it convincingly if you’re in front of a screen yourself much of the day? It’s not easy.

A Screen Time Case Study

My eight-year-old nephew and his parents are dealing with this problem. Lucas’s dad, Charles, discussed how he’s noticed that his son has spent so much of the past year on his iPad that he’s lost some of the social skills he was gaining at school and in team sports. “Now Lucas always talks about how everything is boring,” Charles told me. “The iPad kept his attention and now he wants it all the time. Lucas sets up two screens, one for his video game and one to FaceTime a friend playing the same game. It’s social, in a way. But maybe not the best way.”

Lucas’s mom, Erica, also faces the frustrations that come with their son’s gaming fascination. She said, “Lucas loves watching YouTube videos of gamers playing games while loudly commenting on every move!” Setting time limits on his video viewing leads to conflict, and sometimes she ends up just giving in after a long day of work. She’s learned that the best way to get Lucas to give up the screen is to have something planned to get him out of the house, like a game of tennis or a trip to the park. This is the point in the interview when Lucas himself chimed in: “She bribes me with Robux too!” (Robux are in-game currency for the game Roblox.) He then told his mom he’d give up the iPad for a week if she’d buy him two million Robux.

It helps to have a sense of humor about it all.

Setting Creative and Positive Screen Time Limits

I’ve been writing about social emotional learning (SEL) issues for years now, and I have a set of books called Screen Time Is Not Forever, with a board book for toddlers and a more in-depth paperback for kids in prekindergarten to third grade. I wrote them for kids like Lucas, kids who love their tech but need limits, so they still make time for friendships, fitness, and learning. (I’ll try to keep my sense of humor when Lucas tells me my new books are boring.)

As parents, we need lots of tools in our child-raising toolbox. As we help children find balance in their day-to-day activities, I think it’s important to keep our messages to kids positive, not punitive. Screen time isn’t “bad”—it’s a fundamental (and fun) part of modern life.

How can you present screen-time limits in a positive way?

Put real-world experiences first

Have a daily routine that focuses on play dates, exercise, outdoor time, and face-to-face interaction. Marieka Heinlen, the illustrator of Screen Time Is Not Forever, has stuck to the idea of keeping screen time to a minimum by setting a good example for her two kids. Marieka said, “I’ve always wanted my kids to spend a lot of their time outside with friends or doing creative activities with their hands. We really try to spend time as a family off screens, just having fun together. Now that my kids are older, setting this example—as much as possible—has paid off.”

Make a family media plan

You can check out the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Parenting Website for a family media plan that suits the ages of your children. The site allows you to customize items that apply to your kids and how you want media to fit into their lives. Another option is to keep things simple by making a screen-time schedule for your child each day.

Put computers and televisions in a shared area of your home

This way, you can monitor what your child sees on screens and be part of the experience, too. Co-watching media and discussing it together is a strategy that you can try.

Create screen-free zones

Experts suggest having tech-free zones throughout the home, so children and adults have places where they know screens stay off. For example, maybe you decide no tech at the table during family meals, or you make a rule that children can’t have screens in their bedrooms.

Monitor your own screen use

Check in with yourself to see how you use screens in front of your children. Do you text instead of play with your kids at the park? Are you on social media while your kids are in the room with you? Do you have the TV on in the background as you go about your day? We all do these things at times, so the goal is not to feel guilty. Instead, just ask yourself if there are behaviors you want to change.

Think quality over quantity

Lucas doesn’t spend all his time on screens. He also loves hockey, his friends, and the family’s two new kittens.

Some days, you may need to let your child spend more time on a screen than you’d like, but that’s okay. Look for high-quality educational content or seek recommendations from Common Sense Media, where you’ll find age-based suggestions for television, movies, games, and apps.

Remember, it’s okay for kids to be unplugged—and bored. That boredom can lead to creativity and innovation once children get used to going tech-free at certain times of day.

Have a go-bag of items such as toys, books, stickers, art supplies, and sports equipment at the ready. Get outside together and have some fun.

And if all else fails, there’s always the Parental Controls feature.

When school is out and the screen is calling to your kids (and you), try these positive summer screen time rules to put practical limits on digital consumption.